South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Houston, we have a squirter
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
