Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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