you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
