Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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