Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
