its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
