I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
should my penis look like a turkey
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My vagina is very pro this idea
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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