How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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