ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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