White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
