Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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