Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
handjob tips. give me some.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
