So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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