i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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