And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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