Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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