I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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