i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
