the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
