dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
where am i from again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
