Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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