True but thats because hes a fetus.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
