I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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