my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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