Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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