I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
