There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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