Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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