we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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