fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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