i just had sex bonerless
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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