I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
