She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize