I hope mine doesn't look like that
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
