Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Houston, we have a blender
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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