If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize