i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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