after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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