I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
