Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
