It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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