At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
