i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
