WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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