i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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