It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
