Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
