I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
