therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
