I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
