It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize