dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
