ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
