dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please come you make the beer taste better
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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