we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
