SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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