I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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