brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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