dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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