yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
