dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This toilet bowl is my home.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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