I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
