i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
