I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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