Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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