Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
