i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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