sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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