This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
