That's intense
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
