it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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