dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
